Everything is Dust

I close my eyes, only for a moment, then the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity
Dust in the Wind...
All they are is Dust in the Wind...

Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the Wind....
All we are is Dust in the Wind...

Now don't hang on,
Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, and all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the Wind...
All we are is Dust in the Wind...

Dust in the Wind...
Everything is Dust in the Wind,
everything is Dust in the wind...

The wind...

With six days left until I board the plane to leave and step into another life, I'm thinking and reflecting on so many different things...people I've loved, people I've lost, people I'm going to meet, and people I'll never lose touch with. This next step in my life is of course exciting and nerve racking, but is really just another course in my road of life. I've experienced the best and the worst in my life. The best of friends, the best of traveling, the best of laughter and moments to cherish. The worst of things are just bumps along that road. It's true what Kansas said, everything, in the end, is just dust in the wind...

As I was sitting at Sonic (yes Sonic) yesterday with my mom, I had to point out that this wasn't a funeral for me. It simply is a move. Of course, that move is thousands of miles away and practically in a different world, but still just a move. It's also a move for others. A move away from seeing me everyday, from picking up the phone and calling me to tell me about the stupid driver in front of you or your day or exciting news. But, all of these moments will still happen. With or without me. That's not to say I'm not sad about not being able to share those moments with my loved ones, but I know that life will go on with or without me there to share in it....

It's amazing...it's amazing all that my friends and family can do. It's amazing, makes my heart sing...And I can't wait to share my adventures with you. I already miss all of you so very much it breaks my heart to think about it. You'll see....if it's meant to be, nothing can compare to deserving your dreams... And remember, everything is dust in the wind.

Perfect

My old roommate just sent me this reassuring quote... I feel it's fitting and I have to give credit to him and Benjamin Button.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again. "

Georgia on my Mind.... hell everyone on my mind

It's coming down to the wire. Down to the seconds. It's day five of my trip in Georgia with one half day more... I've seen lots of friends, had several laughs, and driven down many roads. The weather has been perfect, like it's showing me the best of Georgia with it's 65-70 degree days, blue skies, and little humidity...it's even a little rainy today, which I am very pleased to get to experience as well. The smell of the rain coming and the winds blowing through the trees warning us of the flood gates about to be opened is one of my favorite things to experience.

But, the truth is, there aren't enough days to spend with the friends I already don't get to see that much; really there isn't enough time to spend with the people I DO get to see all the time either. You blink and the moment is gone. You turn your head and it's a different scene. Different people. Different situations. Different. Nothing ever stays the same. Things come and go...

The time here has been such a blessing. I am most comfortable here. Most relaxed and most at ease. A perfect send-off before such a raging adventure. But the worry about this adventure is still lingering in the back of my head. The worry of my new job, the worry of the new people and the worry of the little things-mostly and foremost the worry of the unknown. I know all of the answers to these worries will be revealed to me once I'm in Guyana.

For right now, it's just a lot on my mind. I know that sometimes I just have to let go, but up until that point, my head is swimming. It brings tears to my eyes to think about not having the people I care about most be able to go through this adventure with me. And not for me, but for them as well... I guess everyone goes through their own adventure in their own way, and I know this is mine, but the last question I have pacing through my brain is, where will this adventure take me?

Don't Take Stress

These words can be found in my Welcome Book or any Peace Corps Volunteer's for that matter. The words can be translated to mean several things, but the most obvious being "don't let stress get to you/don't stress out". Yeah right.

So far, I have exactly 18 days left until I say good-bye to everyone I know and love in Colorado. I have exactly 4 days until I go to Georgia to say my good-byes to friends there. I have 3 more days of work. 1 more time to go to church. I do, however, have an unlimted amount of time to feel anxious, nervous, excited, sad, melancholy, and a mirad of other emotions during a variety of experiences and situations.

I got off the phone with two fabulous people who are in Guyana about 3 hours ago. While it was hard for me to hear the two because they were on speaker phone and have accents, I understood exactly what was being conveyed. This is it. There's no turning back. Not that I'd want to, of course, but still. We spoke about what were my family and friends' were feeling towards my leaving?, had I packed yet?, what are my fears and my anticipations?, what was I most excited about and what was I most nervous about? Did talking to them get me geared up and rearing to go? Sure! And now that I'm sitting back at my desk, comfortable and knowing what lies ahead of me, I'm suddenly not ready at all.

I know I'm not the only one with this anticipation and excitement. I know I'm not the only one with piles of things to take with me, yet to be packed. I know I'm not the only one who's nervous about the culture, the heat, the bugs, the food, and whatever else comes to mind. Does it make me feel any better? Nope. What I feel at any given moment is stress. Stress about final bills, stress about packing, stress about saying good-bye, and stress about arriving to say hello.

Don't take stress.... Don't take stress.... I don't think it's as easy as lather, rinse, repeat. But all the same, I think I'll just repeat it over and over...