Saturday, September 26, 2009

Learning the Hard Way...

You set foot in a new world. That foot touches your new life before your head does. You are constantly catching up, constantly learning, constantly adjusting, constantly evaluating… Each new day greets you with a challenge and a blessing and if you figure out how to handle either one, then you’ve had a successful day. Tell me, then, how do you figure out your heart in a new world?

When I first came here, I was scared, overwhelmed and excited. There was so much to take in and so much to learn about. Slowly, it started to sink in that I was here to stay for however long. However, the more I experienced, the more comfortable I felt. Likewise, the more people I met, the more I fell in love with Guyana. The more I fall in love with Guyana, the more I want to do whatever it takes to stay here. I won’t lie, I miss home and my friends and family so much it hurts sometimes. But there is a very large part of me that fits here.

Despite these things, what your heart desires and what you actually get in life are sometimes different things. Most times, these are for reasons unknown to you until later in life unless you knew all along that what you wanted wasn’t good for you. It has happened that my heart desires something that life, for reasons unknown to me right now, is denying me. The Hindi saying for this is “Kutcha Kutcha Hota Hai”…in other words, sometimes things happen. Ben Harper puts it more simply: “Yes indeed I’m alone again, and here comes emptiness crashin’ in…it’s either love or hate I can’t find in between, ‘cause I’ve been with witches and I have been with the queen. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway, so now it’s just another lonely day, yeahhh… further along we just may, but for now it’s just another lonely day. Wish there was somethin’ I could say or do. I can resist anything but the temptation from you. But I’d rather walk alone than chase you around, I’d rather fall myself than let you drag me on down. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway, and now it’s just another lonely day, heeey…. Further along we just may…but for now it’s just another lonely day. Yesterday seems like a life ago. Because the one I love, today I hardly know. You I held so close in my heart, oh dear, grow further from me with every falling tear. It wouldn’t have worked out anyway, so now it’s just another lonely day, heey… further along we just may…but for now it’s just another lonely day. But now it’s just another lonely day… and now it’s just another lonely daaaaaaay….

Yes my friends.. Mr. Harper put it so eloquently-so direct... and while this experience is so much harder than I thought it would be, I know I’ll be stronger in the long run. Was there any drama that ended this relationship? Nope… just as Ben put it “it wouldn’t have worked out anyway”. I think what hurts the most was the expectation that a future was ahead…and how quickly that future was erased! Any messages of “time will heal all wounds” or “a closed door opens another” or any cliché things like that just don’t help…in my own words-this sucks. “Oh I could sparkle like a diamond, have silver line my soul, but no matter how bright I glitter baby, I could never be gold…”

Here’s to more experiences…hopefully my heart will be up to the possibilities.

Trains, Planes and Automobiles


“Roll!” “Pick she up” “Yeah…” “Vreed-en-Hoop/New Road!” “One mo, one alone, meh need one mo!”

These are the cries of the conductors and drivers of the buses in Guyana. Anywhere you go, you hear these short but very distinct shouts. You also hear the familiar kissing noises of those same conductors trying to get your attention. It works, believe me it works. It’s the operation of the public busing system here. It’s a glorious symphony of noises, actions, and people. The bus pulls up to it’s designated spot. Out jumps the conductor, sliding the door on the left side as he does. “Sis! Ya goin’ Berbice? Meh got special price fah ya, sis. Come, we leave jus now!” The conductor starts his (or her, very rarely her, but sometimes it is a ‘her’) salesman bought. It is usually some compliment to a passerby, some offer to take the bags they are holding and help them to the bus, or the promise of a smooth ride with a bus that leaves in the next 5 minutes. These are all most likely lies. But smooth lies they are…and wonderful tactics to draw the crowds in. And it’s not just one conductor, but about 10 or 15 in one area, all manning a bus, all working hard for the little money they’ll get at the end of a long, hot day. And all those conductors are shouting the same thing, at the same time, to the same one person in hopes that you’ll choose their bus and their bus will fill up faster. The faster the bus fills up, the faster you leave. That’s the trick to leaving fast. Get on a bus that’s already 50% or more full. You’ll leave within that 5 minutes the other conductor promised you 7 buses back.

The bus is full now, and you’re already sweating, beads down your back and on your nose and upper lip. You’re crammed in with 14 other people now, not including the conductor, the driver or the two people in the front seat. They want one more. A lady with a market bag gets on the bus and you suddenly wonder where the conductor is going to sit. No worries, they cram the lady next to the person in front of you saying, “Bai, gimmie a lil’ squeeze, na”. Somehow the guy closest to the window scoots one millimeter to the right and all four people fit in one seat, comfortably. The conductor slides the door close and leans halfway out the window, still kissing at any passing pedestrians. The driver honks his horn, made to sound like a trumpet that plays 5 notes over and over until it fades out. He’s alerting the other drivers that he’s coming and they shouldn’t pull out in front of him. I’ll have to write about the horn system later. Off we go. Breeze flows in through the open windows, and you can breathe a sigh of relieve for the breeze that instantly cools you and everyone around you off. Now you just have to keep watch for your stop. Be vigilant. Hold onto your bags. Have your money or your change ready. Here it comes now…ready? “Conducta!” He turns his head. “Corner comin’ up!”… “Corner comin’ up!”, he yells to the driver. The lady in front of you sucks her teeth. This means she has to move to let you out. Oh well, let her suck her teeth in frustration. The bus shrieks to a stop. The conductor slides open the door, the lady in front of you gets out, leaving you 2 inches to get out yourself and pay the man who spends his life in the wind. You pay, collect your change and the bus takes off with you still standing there gathering your bearings… the sliding door closing as the bus gains speed.

Let me explain something to you…in Guyana, oh wonderful Guyana, to get around you MUST take a “cyar”, “bus”, or “tapier” unless you have your own vehicle, bike, or motorcycle. Being a PCV, most walk to where they’re going if it’s within a mile or two or you take one of the three public transportation vehicles; this is because no volunteer drives due to complicated rules and policies so that includes a car or motorcycle. From personal experience, I say take a car/”cyar” (ke-yar), it’s less people to deal with and it’s more comfortable than squeezing into a tapier or a bus, but it’s sometimes more expensive. But enough about the logical parts of travel, for now, I speak purely about the system.

Here in the land of Guyanese people, things are done slightly differently. This would be an obvious deduction of any foreigner visiting, but for the Peace Corps Volunteer, you take on this world because it is your life for two years, give or take, and it doesn’t seem so different to you after so many months. I, for one, am personally impressed with the busing system here. It’s more of a glorified hitch-hiking system, but still, it’s got some really unique points to it. ‘I’m a little foggy about this busing system you speak of Lindsay, can you explain more?’ Well sure!

Picture this: You come out of your house and it’s 8:20am. You have to be at work by 9:00 the latest. You live a total of 30 minutes away from work and it looks like it’s going to be sunshine all the way. Think you’ll make it? Well normally we’d be inclined to say, duh! But here, you’re pushing it. You’ll make it, but only by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin. Every morning I wake up around 6:00 or 6:30. This is late by Guyanese standards. Whatever. I wake up, shower, make breakfast and lunch (yes, I’m a planner now… shocking I know), and get ready for school. I pack whatever I need to get through the day and make sure I’ve got my money ready, my keys in hand, my cell phone charged and in my purse, and my bottle of water. I head out to the road. Lucky for me, I live right on the main road. This means I could potentially catch a ride to the next drop off point within minutes, or it could mean that every living being passes me by within a 15 minute period. Confused? Just wait.

I stand at the end of the driveway and wave my hand in a nonchalant manner, so as not to give anyone the wrong impression. Buses will pass and the driver points in one direction, the conductor leans out the window and kisses at me. No, he doesn’t want to date me (although I do get proposed to at least once a week if not more), he wants to know if I need a ride to Georgetown. No, I’m not going there…I need to get to the junction. He drives on. A car pulls up. “Miss, you go de junction?” “Yes, you goin’ deh?” “Yes, Miss.” I am called ‘Miss’ because I am a teacher. I get in the back seat. Today I’ll be wedged in between two other people about my size (not large, but in a small car, we seem giants) and in the front seat will be two people. Hey, gotta get the most amount of fare, right?

At the junction, we all pile out, each paying $60, the price for a short drop. I walk to another part of the junction and stand for what seems forever. “Good Fortune, Miss?” “No, Patentia” “No, meh nah go dat far”… “LaGrange, Miss?” “No, Patentia” “No, meh nah go deh”… “Patentia, Miss?” “Yes!” My wait is over. I’m in another car, this time next to the worst smelling person I’ve ever met…or will meet for the day. Oh, it looks like he smells because of the bucket of fish he’s holding. Guess I’ll meet another person who actually smells like fish and isn’t carrying a bucket later. Joy. The ride is long. Yes, I live 30 minutes away, but we stop and go. You see, how the system works is people get picked up and dropped off everywhere especially if you are taking public transportation. It’s much like the busing system in bigger cities, ie Chicago. But instead of scheduled stops where you know where the bus is going, people just yell out where they’re going. One minute you’re sitting with 4 other people, the next you’re sitting with 4 new people and in the span of 10 minutes those 4 new people have changed 2 times. Each fare is different, $60 for a short drop, $80 to pass the river, $100 to get over the bridge, and $120 to get to Patentia, my drop. It only took 40 minutes today. Good timing! I’m 5 minutes late. No matter…I’m the first one here, aside from all the kids. But school starts at 9:00am, right? Right. ‘Just now…’

Monday, August 31, 2009

Sunday, The last sunday in August 2009


I’m sitting It’s almost 1 in the afternoon. I’m lazy today. I can’t seem to get going at all. What have I done? Watched Om Shanti Om and Wedding Crashers, made some breakfast, painted my nails, and washed some dishes. Now I’m listening to Imogen Heap’s Hide and Seek and sitting in front of the fan. There are just days when I’m not inclined to do anything, despite what piles up in front of me.


I feel out of touch with the world; like I’ve lost contact with who I am or used to be. I feel like a different person, “sinking, feeling…spin me around again and rub my eyes” and wake me up. The things I want and experience and do are all so strange from what I was and what I used to be. Now my strongest desires and my hearts pull are here, in the music, in the people, in the sunshine that comes up at the same time and goes down at the same time everyday…”where are we, what the hell is going on? The dust has only just began to form crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling…”


This summer has held many transformations for me, not to mention while not a lot has been going on with my job and my site, I have had a lot of time to travel and meet with new people. I know there are many more things and experiences to come for me, and as my mom so eloquently put it, if I gain nothing from this experience but patience and flexibility than I will be a better person for it. Since the beginning of June, 3 people have left, and now with one week left, actually the first week of school here, one more departs. Each has a different reason and each meant something unique to our GUY 21 group and likewise no one will ever replace them. At this juncture in my time here (now 6 months!), I no longer feel like an outsider, but a person indeed a “white coolie gyal”…the problem is that I don’t know how long this feeling will last and I don’t want it to go away. I wonder if this is how some of the older volunteers felt while others were leaving around them. Like being in a tornado and standing still while the world around you flies like mad. I feel like Imogean puts it in perfect terms… “mmm…what ya say? mmm…that you only meant well, well of course you did, mmm…what ya say, mmm..that it’s all for the best, of course it is mmm…what ya say, mmm…that its just what we need when you decided this mmm… what ya say, mmm…what did ya say?”


I apologize here for not keeping in better touch with several people. Trust me that I have not forgotten you nor have I put our friendships or our memories aside, but have been consumed and swept up in this country in all aspects. For instance, a month ago I wrote an insanely long letter to one particular friend and it’s still sitting waiting to be mailed out. Don’t ask me why I haven’t mailed it, I guess the “just now” attitude has taken over. Well with everything except what how I feel with my site. I’m a little impatient with progress and with seeing results or feeling like I’m actually doing anything. And I’ll most likely eat my words later on about me not doing anything. If anything, I can say I’ve successfully made some of the most wonderful relationships here with people from all walks of life and from all different backgrounds. And the thing is that I really love each and everyone of them.


My Creolese is getting better everyday. My Hindi has slacked a little from lack of constant lessons, but those will resume sooner rather than later. Would you like a taste? When you see someone next, put your hands together in front of your chest like you’re going to pray, slightly bow to them and say Namaste. Namaste in Hindi means “I bow to the divinity within you”. In Hindu culture, it is believed that everyone possesses a divinity within themselves. That’s not to say that each of us is divine like God, but rather that our souls possess this quality in which we are a part of God. It is a greeting that expresses respect and honor. Then when you’re done, you can say, “ai, bai (or gyal), meh like yah style bad, bai.” This is Creolese for I’m really digging the way you do things, or I like your choices/I respect your lifestyle. Now you have a little taste of what my daily life is like. Of course I don’t say these things to everyone nor do I encounter people who accept me right off the bat, but I try. Everyday I try. My mom laughed on the phone with me the other night saying, “Lindsay, I’m so proud of you. You have been eating things you wouldn’t normally eat here and you’ve been doing things you wouldn’t normally do here. You’ve really changed a lot since you’ve been gone.” I didn’t realize she was right until that moment. Not that changing is all that conscious until after you realize you’ve changed, but still. I guess my only wish is that I don’t change so much that I lose myself completely…meh nah know no mo’ bai.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Funky Town

Won’t you take me to funky town? I wonder if that’s what other people sing when they feel in a funk. Or does funky down imply a town where everyone is truly crazy? Which is it? Either way… I’m in a funk today. I woke up at 6:55 this morning to a text message and pounding upstairs. Ok take those things away, and the sun was shining through my bedroom windows, the birds were singing outside and I wasn’t sweating but instead very comfortable-makes you want to barf doesn’t it? This week has been a little crazy; came back from visiting my host family over the weekend after waiting for the bus to fill up for 45 minutes and riding on a defective boat that took an hour instead of 30 minutes, went to the hospital to visit a friend (not a PCV but a local friend) and secretly thank God I’ve only been in nice hospitals, visited with a fellow PCV and talked about the universe, boys, religion, Colorado, and jobs, spent some time at the Peace Corps office, realized I needed to sweep my house badly because of the ants, visited with a family in my village, spent more time at the Peace Corps office, ran out of credit in my phone, tried to avoid my landlords, made small talk with my neighbors next door, washed my laundry and hung it out to dry, swept part of my house, cursed the ants who came back anyway, listened to Jim Gaffigan, relaxed in my hammock, cooked, went on a hunt for food at lunch time and found all snackettes were out of food at 1:45 because “lunchtime is over”, looked in my box at the office and found a beautiful scarf from a GUY 19 friend who’s leaving on Saturday, caught the last boat over the river just in time, and realized that those GUY 19 friends are people I may never see again.

I guess part of my funk is living up to the GUY 19 PCVs. These people who are leaving are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. When a PCV leaves at the end of their 2 years, they have to write what’s called a D.O.S., or a Description of Service. It’s really a glorified resume with a couple paragraphs about government shlop mixed in. Well one of these GUY 19 PCVs has probably one of the most impressive DOS ever. As I talked to him in the office yesterday I slowly realized how much he’s done and how little I’ve done. Reading through his DOS was depressing and encouraging all at the same time. This guy started his own NGO (non-government/non-profit organization) for pete’s sake. He also tutored, obtained computers for the NGO, got funding for a building for the NGO, never took a day of vacation, and did a myriad of other things. If I had to write my DOS now, it’d look something like this:
- Took free Hindi classes with a family at the junction
- Learned the names of all the teachers at my school
- Helped with Food for the Poor through a BINGO Fundraiser and Saturday morning Share-Outs
- Survived Dengue and still wanted to be a PCV
- Learned how to make 3 different kinds of roti
- Learned some phrases of Creolese
- Mastered the busing system of Georgetown
- Read 6 books
- Lost 30 lbs
- Got free furniture in a matter of 2 months

Ok…so it’s only been 5 months, 2 of which were training. I know there’ve been other things I’ve done and will continue to do, but man it’s hard to live up to these amazing GUY 19ers. I guess I could use the motivation from seeing or hearing about the projects, but I’ve been told that not everyone creates their own NGO, that not everyone learns another language successfully, that some people just worked at the health center or school and did things there, some people created a small group of women or men, that basically everyone is different and everyone’s work is different as well. It’s hard being in this limbo period, not knowing what tomorrow will bring or what my projects will be like or if I’ll be successful at all.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Just an Update...



Good morning! It’s 8:45 here in Guyana. I’m sitting in my newly hung up hammock in my living room. I shouldn’t say sitting, I should say lounging and occasionally swinging. I’m listening to a myriad of music: some from a KBCO album (thanks to Amy, Casey, Lesley, and Greg), some from Dave (PCV), and some from Guyana (bootlegged, I mean, copied, music). I’m in a great mood. It’s been a while since I’ve written on the blog, mostly because I haven’t had much computer time, but also because I haven’t been in a space to write. Maybe I should have been writing to better help me out of my stress and so on, but until now, I have just been trying to distract myself.

Let’s see… I’m no longer homeless. I’ve been living in what is called a bottom house for two months. It’s slowly been filling with furniture (for a good month and a half it had only a bed and a clothes horse/rack, stove and a fan). Now I have a table, a hammock, a second-hand shelf and fridge, my mosquito netting up, a rope strung to hang my clothes on, a second fan, curtains, and some things ready to put up on the walls. Things are coming around. Do I feel comfortable in my house yet? Not at all… but I’m trying.

The job. Well…it’s a combination of frustrations, confusions, joys, and social hour. For the first two months at site (I’ve been at site for three now), I went to school about half the time. Mostly because I was homeless for a month and kept moving and had to go into a million meetings, but also because there really wasn’t anything I was doing. My counterpart and I had agreed that the first two months (consequently the LAST two months of school) were going to be an orientation of sorts for me. Now, I can, with a 100% guarantee, tell you the names and the classrooms of all the teachers at the school, totaling 17, not including me and the headmistress (principal). During this last month out of school, Peace Corps had a week-long conference with our group and our counterparts in which my counterparts and I agreed to work on their library to get it in working condition and cleaned out/organized. We also came up with a great literacy program to try for the Christmas term (fall). So you might ask, well, Lindsay, what’s the problem? Well, as ambitious as we were in that conference, here it is almost August and we have yet to start on the library aside from design anything for the literacy program. I’ll be coming up with the test, but that takes about 2 hours to type up and print off. Being in a third world country, things take a long time to get done. I guess my frustration lies with this and with the frustration of working in the education system here, among other things. Don’t get me wrong, I am loving being in the Peace Corps and have had to really separate Peace Corps from the Peace Corps Experience (fellow PCVs you know what I’m talking about) so it’s really all you make it, but it’s just taking time to get into my own. Patience…patience…sigh.

Relationships: I’d have to say on the whole my relationships with other PCVs, Guyanese and Barry have pretty much stayed the same, with a few minor adjustments. 1) People came to PDM (Project Design & Management Conference) changed. This was to be expected, but to the degree at which some of them have changed is shocking to me. Some are very jaded by things that have happened in the 5 months we’ve been here, some have become partiers or slight alcoholics, some are very obviously depressed (totally understandable seeing as how I’m going through a bit of that too), some are floating on cloud 9, and some are still trying to figure out what the hell they’re doing here-I take that back…we’re all still doing that. 2) The relationships that people have cultivated with other Guyanese are also surprising. Some are still trying to figure out what these people we work with, ride with, shop with, live with, etc are saying or how they are behaving. I’d like to say I can understand the Guyanese a lot more since being here, but there are still days I’m blown away with misunderstandings and miscommunications. I’m pretty sure that’ll happen the whole time I’m here, no matter what. 3) Then there are the romantic relationships…some have blossomed, some have wilted and some have burned in flames, both for the good and bad. I would also venture to say that most all romantic relationships have resulted in an evaluation of communication skills, of safety measures, and of self. I say these things from experience and from what my fellow PCVs are going through as well. This is not to say that the romantic relationships are going badly, but they really force a person to define what they want, to stand up for what they want, and to constantly think in the other person’s shoes. Because of the cross-cultural differences, there have been some miscommunications and misunderstandings and almost all assumptions have been completely wrong. Truthfully, it’s been a lot of work and it takes away from things that people are here to do. However, if you can figure out how to balance your work and your relationships and how to stay true to yourself, you’ll be golden. Such is my quest. Haha.

On a side note and because I don’t want to end this blog all depressing and such, I recently filled out a fun questionnaire of sorts and I encourage you to do the same. Be honest with yourself and also be creative. Then give it to someone you really want to know more about, or send it to me and I’ll fill it out for your reading enjoyment.
1) Life is…
2) Tomorrow…
3) When I wake up in the morning…
4) I have a low tolerance for…
5) If I had a million dollars…
6) People would say I’m…
7) I love…
8) I don’t understand…
9) I lost…
10) Maybe I should…

Pictures of my house and school to come soon!











To the King of Pop

Unknowingly, I walked into a room Thursday evening and was accosted by a cacophony of harsh news. Michael Jackson-DEAD! Could it be? Was it merely a joke meant to scare two unsuspecting GUY21 Volunteers into not leaving their things in the lounge for too long? No… I sat in shock at the news. The following day, as I walked around Georgetown, I passed each store on Regent Street, Brickdam, Ave of Republic, etc., and out came waves of Michael Jackson. Let me interject myself by saying this: never in my life have I gone to another country and felt so connected with a group of people as I have here. That being said, the Guyanese are some of the most hard-core Michael Jackson fans I have ever met. That makes me feel connected on an even bigger level. Maybe I’m really Guyanese at heart? The mourning has continued this weekend. Going to visit another volunteer, Michael’s ghost followed me along the journey. Passing cars, the stores whipping by on the roadside, Michael lurks in each fleeting moment. Today, I waived my white flag of defeat and decided to join paying homage to the King of Pop. I bought a couple CDs of his greatest hits and as I looked at the covers of these “bootlegged” CDs, I realized that the Guyanese have made Mr. Jackson a part of their eternal culture in their own way. To better convey what I mean, I have included the Guyanese titles of His Majesty’s CDs… enjoy from the Caribbean!

Thriller Album:
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ = “Me Wan Start Some-ting”
Baby Be Mine = “Ah Babes, Be Me Own”
The Girl Is Mine = “Dah Gyal Is Me Own”
Thriller = “Triller”
Beat It = “Choke He Up”
Billie Jean = “Dah Mad Gyal Billie Jean”
Human Nature = “Uman Nature, Mon”
Pretty Young Thing = “Dah Young Gyal Pretty Bad, Bai”
The Lady In My Life = “Me Mistress in Me Own Life, Mon”

Michael Jackson: History – Past, Present, and Future; Book 1
Billie Jean = “Dah Mad Gyal Billie Jean”
The Way You Make Me Feel = “Me Like Wha You Do Meh, Bai”
Black or White = “Black Bai or Whitie Gyal”
Rock With You = “Me Wine Wit Ya Mon”
She’s Out Of My Life = “Oh Radica, Why You Leave and Go?”
Bad = “Bad Serious, Bai”
I Just Can’t Stop Loving You = “Me No Wan Stop Lovin’ Ya Gyal”
Man In The Mirror = “Dah Bai in de Mirror”
Thriller = “Triller”
Beat It = “Choke He Up”
The Girl Is Mine = “Dah Gyal Is Me Own”
Remember The Time = “Dis One Time, Remember Bai?”
Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough = “Nah Stop, Bai, Ya Get Nuff Nuff”
Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’ = “Me Wan Start Some-ting”
Heal The World = “One Love, Mon”

Monday, May 18, 2009

Radica

Any Guyanese person and Peace Corps Volunteer in Guyana will personally know the title of this blog the second they look at it. Radica, a phenomenon sweeping across Guyana, is the title of a song here that blares at all hours of the day and night, for birthday and wedding celebrations, while people are "sporting" (guyanese term for drinking and partying), at sports games, and many more occasions.

Let me further explain: first of all it's a chutney music song that's catchy and annoying all at the same time. Chutney music is a "form of music indigenous to the southern Caribbean, primarily Trinidad & Tobago and Guyana, which derives elements from soca and Indian film songs" (Wikipedia). It's very upbeat and was first religious in nature and sung by families but has since caught like wildfire and become one of the most popular forms of music, aside from soca, here in the Caribbean.

The song, also followed up by three additional versions, has the following lyrics:

Since you leave me
I am alone
I am like a dog
Without a bone,
And I don't want to be alone

So Radica why you leave and go?
oh oh oh oh
So Radica why you leave and go?

To listen to it fully click or paste here:
http://www.toronto-lime.com/music/chutney/CHUTNEY%202K9%20-%20Kenneth%20Salick%20-%20Radica.htm

Of course, there's Radica's reply:

Since I left you
I'm so happy
You didn't say how ill you treat me
You meant so much but not enough to me

Ah (I) had ah (a) right to leave and go
oh oh oh oh
Ah had ah right to leave and go

Again, listen to the song, it'll all make sense:
http://www.toronto-lime.com/music/chutney/CHUTNEY%202K9%20-%20Devika%20Ram%20-%20Ah%20Had%20Ah%20Right%20To%20Leave%20(Radica%20Reply).htm

You might be asking yourself why I'm telling you this information. Well my friends, I hear this song almost every single day. It's in my sleep and dreams, it's at the restaurants I eat at, it's on the commercials and in the cars passing by. It haunts me. Now I pass it on to you so you too can have it going round and round in your heads all day long. Enjoy! It's a small taste of my life here in Guyana wherever you may be.


P.S. For background information about why the song is the way it is, click on this link. I didn't know this until today, so I thought it was interesting to add. Cheers!
http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_news?id=161437886