Won’t you take me to funky town? I wonder if that’s what other people sing when they feel in a funk. Or does funky down imply a town where everyone is truly crazy? Which is it? Either way… I’m in a funk today. I woke up at 6:55 this morning to a text message and pounding upstairs. Ok take those things away, and the sun was shining through my bedroom windows, the birds were singing outside and I wasn’t sweating but instead very comfortable-makes you want to barf doesn’t it? This week has been a little crazy; came back from visiting my host family over the weekend after waiting for the bus to fill up for 45 minutes and riding on a defective boat that took an hour instead of 30 minutes, went to the hospital to visit a friend (not a PCV but a local friend) and secretly thank God I’ve only been in nice hospitals, visited with a fellow PCV and talked about the universe, boys, religion, Colorado, and jobs, spent some time at the Peace Corps office, realized I needed to sweep my house badly because of the ants, visited with a family in my village, spent more time at the Peace Corps office, ran out of credit in my phone, tried to avoid my landlords, made small talk with my neighbors next door, washed my laundry and hung it out to dry, swept part of my house, cursed the ants who came back anyway, listened to Jim Gaffigan, relaxed in my hammock, cooked, went on a hunt for food at lunch time and found all snackettes were out of food at 1:45 because “lunchtime is over”, looked in my box at the office and found a beautiful scarf from a GUY 19 friend who’s leaving on Saturday, caught the last boat over the river just in time, and realized that those GUY 19 friends are people I may never see again.
I guess part of my funk is living up to the GUY 19 PCVs. These people who are leaving are some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. When a PCV leaves at the end of their 2 years, they have to write what’s called a D.O.S., or a Description of Service. It’s really a glorified resume with a couple paragraphs about government shlop mixed in. Well one of these GUY 19 PCVs has probably one of the most impressive DOS ever. As I talked to him in the office yesterday I slowly realized how much he’s done and how little I’ve done. Reading through his DOS was depressing and encouraging all at the same time. This guy started his own NGO (non-government/non-profit organization) for pete’s sake. He also tutored, obtained computers for the NGO, got funding for a building for the NGO, never took a day of vacation, and did a myriad of other things. If I had to write my DOS now, it’d look something like this:
- Took free Hindi classes with a family at the junction
- Learned the names of all the teachers at my school
- Helped with Food for the Poor through a BINGO Fundraiser and Saturday morning Share-Outs
- Survived Dengue and still wanted to be a PCV
- Learned how to make 3 different kinds of roti
- Learned some phrases of Creolese
- Mastered the busing system of Georgetown
- Read 6 books
- Lost 30 lbs
- Got free furniture in a matter of 2 months
Ok…so it’s only been 5 months, 2 of which were training. I know there’ve been other things I’ve done and will continue to do, but man it’s hard to live up to these amazing GUY 19ers. I guess I could use the motivation from seeing or hearing about the projects, but I’ve been told that not everyone creates their own NGO, that not everyone learns another language successfully, that some people just worked at the health center or school and did things there, some people created a small group of women or men, that basically everyone is different and everyone’s work is different as well. It’s hard being in this limbo period, not knowing what tomorrow will bring or what my projects will be like or if I’ll be successful at all.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
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oh my darlin...being in a funk is ok. at least you are in a hammock. my unrealiable landlord (my boss) STILL does not have my house ready and all the contents of my home are in the garage of my new home...we are all sleeping on the mattresses on our floor. with a small pile of clothes. with a bag of bathroom stuff. thats it. my new house doesnt have carpet, and is not clean, and i have to be out of here in 4 days...i'm a bit nervous.
ReplyDeleteyou are a huge success just being out there in my mind. chin up lady loo...youre our hero and we love you!!!
j, k, b, and l