Don't Take Stress

These words can be found in my Welcome Book or any Peace Corps Volunteer's for that matter. The words can be translated to mean several things, but the most obvious being "don't let stress get to you/don't stress out". Yeah right.

So far, I have exactly 18 days left until I say good-bye to everyone I know and love in Colorado. I have exactly 4 days until I go to Georgia to say my good-byes to friends there. I have 3 more days of work. 1 more time to go to church. I do, however, have an unlimted amount of time to feel anxious, nervous, excited, sad, melancholy, and a mirad of other emotions during a variety of experiences and situations.

I got off the phone with two fabulous people who are in Guyana about 3 hours ago. While it was hard for me to hear the two because they were on speaker phone and have accents, I understood exactly what was being conveyed. This is it. There's no turning back. Not that I'd want to, of course, but still. We spoke about what were my family and friends' were feeling towards my leaving?, had I packed yet?, what are my fears and my anticipations?, what was I most excited about and what was I most nervous about? Did talking to them get me geared up and rearing to go? Sure! And now that I'm sitting back at my desk, comfortable and knowing what lies ahead of me, I'm suddenly not ready at all.

I know I'm not the only one with this anticipation and excitement. I know I'm not the only one with piles of things to take with me, yet to be packed. I know I'm not the only one who's nervous about the culture, the heat, the bugs, the food, and whatever else comes to mind. Does it make me feel any better? Nope. What I feel at any given moment is stress. Stress about final bills, stress about packing, stress about saying good-bye, and stress about arriving to say hello.

Don't take stress.... Don't take stress.... I don't think it's as easy as lather, rinse, repeat. But all the same, I think I'll just repeat it over and over...

Seven Bridges...

Guyana Sun Setting over the Ocean

There are stars in the southern sky
Southward as you go....
There is moon light and moss in the trees
Down the Seven Bridges Road....

Now I have loved you like a baby
Like some lonesome child
And I have loved you in a tame way
And I have loved you wild

Sometimes there's a part of me
Has to turn from here and go
Running like a child from these warm stars
Down the Seven Bridges Road.....

There are stars in the southern sky
And if ever you decide you should go
There is a taste of time sweetened honey
Down the Seven Bridges Road.....

Steve Young really knows how to write a beautiful song. The haunting, poetic, magical song speaks to me like an old memory that I forget about until I listen to the lyrics pouring out. I can close my eyes and be suddenly lost in another world where I'm back, running through the Georgia woods behind my house, laughing with the neighborhood kids, chasing fireflies and not getting cold even though the sun had long set. I wonder if my experience(s) in Guyana will be like these fond memories the song invokes; the way I can still taste the sweet tea, or smell the rain in the air before it comes pouring down, and the way a summer picnic could bring families from far to the same crowded but joyful spot. I can listen to this song over and over and it still makes me feel like I'm standing in one of my memories, content and feeling like nothing in the world could shake me.

I can only hope for memories that evoke so much feeling and emotion as this song causes me to relive each time I hear it. Will I make new memories that make me stop and wish I could relive them in Guyana? Will I find things I've been searching for? Will I be able to fulfill my role as someone who makes a difference? Will I find that I've got a longer road to go before I'm truly content with my life, my self, my heart and my deeds? I guess looking back years from now, I'll know then....

"It always seems impossible until it's done" - Nelson Mandela

At least that's what I keep repeating to myself... I am leaving for Guyana (South America) in t-minus 4 weeks, 3 days, however many hours and seconds. It still hasn't fully hit me yet that I'm leaving. I mean, sure I've gone to JAX and gotten somethings to bring with me, and sure I've told my work (an experience in itself), I've talked about it with friends and family, but it really hasn't hit me yet. I'm sure it'll be hour 3 on the plane to Guyana and all of the sudden, I'll say, SHIT!! I'm really going and doing this! I guess if there were more to know and more to prepare myself, I'd feel more ready and more adjusted, but as it turns out, I've read all I can and I've talked to people that are in the "Peace Corps loop" but nothing can prepare an individual for the experience they are going to have.

Here's what I know:
- I'll be leaving February 22nd for Philly to do staging (bascially an orientation and a gathering of the other members of people who are going with me).
- I can only bring 80 lbs of junk with me. That's 40 lbs per bag and one carry-on.
- Guyana is 5 degrees N of the Equator, so that means I'll have a curly fro for sure.
- I'm pretty sure I'll have email access, but it all depends on what I'm doing there and where I'll live.
- I'm going to be a Community Education Promoter. (What that is...I'll let you know more as I know more)
- It's going to be hot as hell, and there's going to be bugs, bugs and more bugs. Oh and snakes too.
- Guyana is the only English speaking country in South America.
- Their exchange rate is $200 for our $1. I'll be making $40,000 a month! WOOOO!!!
- The rainforest there is lush and practically untouched.
- I'm going to miss my friends and family so much, but I'm sure that 2 1/2 years are going to go by really fast.

I guess Nelson really knows what he's talking about, but I'll have to experience it myself just to be sure.